I don’t blog about when things aren’t going my way, or when I am frustrated, or just about anything negative. Or at least not much. I try really hard to keep looking forward and being positive. I know some people see that as not being real, but in all honesty I just don’t find the dwelling on it very helpful. If it doesn’t produce results or share anything positive, what is the point? Commiserating to the void is just another word for a pity party that doesn’t actually do any good.
That being said I am here to rant today. The past week has been such a roller coaster. Highs and lows just all over the place. I have gotten so much accomplished, and I am really pretty proud of that, and my Husband has not only put up with me, but also been superman most of the time. I also get so frustrated. I am not at full potential because of the whole 20 odd days away from delivery. I also have serious asthma problems this pregnancy, that the dust kicked up from moving and cleaning is not helping. Plus everyone seems to be pissing me off lately. I have been in one of my most tolerant pregnancies ever, till now. The school bus system is fighting me, anyone I pay for service from seems to be screwing one thing or another up. The million little things to do to prepare to be useless seems to be never ending. My husband is a problem solver and just wants to help get rid of anything that is bugging me, but just the fact that anything rocked my boat seems to send me off my emotional fine line. There is a ditch in front of my driveway that prevented me from leaving while it was being dug this morning, the cable went out but only on the kid channel. It literally was just one thing after another. It seems to be that way a lot lately. Again I try not to dwell on it, but everything seems to just drive me crazier right now. My patience is so short.
SOOoooo…. I am going to try something different. I am going to acknowledge the overwhelming amount of crap do to, and all the things that are making it difficult. Then I am going to do my best to be grateful for it. ‘Cause if everything were easy all the time we wouldn’t learn or grow. I am going to try to be kinder and slower to react to my frustration. I am going to remember to turn the impossible over to the Lord, and let go of the thought I can control everything. Let a little peace come from the moments that feel chaotic. Let it remind me that life is unpredictable and that that is a good thing. I am going to be more thankful for those who are so eager to lend a helping hand, and am going to accept it more often. So in that sense, I guess dwelling on it for a few minutes this time actually produced a result, and one well worth having. So good night everyone, I am definitely going to enjoy my evening and my day tomorrow.
