I just realized, I am right now, 90 days away from being 30. For the first time since I was 21 I am at a real landmark you can feel birthday coming up. The kind that marks a change in your status in life. I really don’t might the getting older part. I think I have been 30 since I was about 21. A lot has changed this year, and I think I am re-evaluating right now. I think right now is the best time to do that, as If I want to change anything before I turn thirty, now is definately the time to start!
I think I want to be in better physical shape, although I am having a difficult time finding the right motivation, and exercise method. I need to figure it out fast and buckle down. I would like to lose 3 sizes by the time I am 30. I am more interested in shaping than anything with pounds involved. I recognize food and exercise are an important component to either goal. I just like the results to my clothes more than the scale.
I think I have spent the majority of my life, trying to be the anti-thesis of the woman who gave birth to me, while at the same time doing justice to the parents who raised me. At this age, not everything is quite so black and white, and perfection is not an endearing quality. I think it is important to let go of that and really embrace who I am and what I want as my motivation at each moment, rather than appearance, opinion, or comparison.
I really have been cleaving closely to family. I have been researching my family on all sides. I have been meeting family members and speaking with ones I have never met before. It is a sobering thought to realize that both of my biological parents are dead at this time in my life, and both of them were 48 at the time of their deaths. Not that I think I would die that young or the way either did, but just that mortality realization that comes with those that bring you life no longer living.
This is a very introspective, but I think important post. Not shallow at all. But hey, what is this blog to be but a journal of sorts of my life, fit for general consumption.
